I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
