That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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