Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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