I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
