He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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