Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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