Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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