Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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