And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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