if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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