I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
