need another drink. this is the easiest way
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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