It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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