my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
