it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
