it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
