He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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