Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
