Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
