i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
