Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
