I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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