Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
