I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
