Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
