she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
