A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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