are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
