Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
