either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
