Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
