Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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