im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
