So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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