I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
