New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
