My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
