there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
