Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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