How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
