did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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