Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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