If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
