I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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