The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
