Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
