And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize