therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She even gives head with a lisp.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
