I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
