you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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